The Lei of the Land

I'm still in Hawaii, "reporting" on a homework assignment I gave myself when I realized I was going to have 10 days with essentially nothing to do: read The Yankee Years.

There's a lot of controversy surrounding the book, but it is both literally and figuratively yesterday's news as the A-Rod/A-Roid/Ster-Rod scandal broke, and then pitchers and catchers reported with CC Sabathia and A.J. Burnett taking the smallest rings in the Yankees' media circus. But despite the depressing fact that our over-indulgent society can't maintain focus on anything for longer than it takes a sailor on shore leave to find the nearest hooker, I decided it was still my duty to read, absorb, and understand what all the fuss was about.

So far, not a lot. I'm about 160 pages deep and these are the conclusions I've drawn:
1) Tom Verducci is not that great of a writer.
2) Roger Clemens is a weird, weird man.
3) I don't think Torre has screwed anyone over (so far).

I'll address ever issue by point, as this will turn into a week long saga, I'm sure.

1) This book is bland. The only reason I keep reading it is because I love the Yankees and the first 155 pages were about how amazing they were in '96-'00. The last five pages I read were a horrible re-living of the '01 Series against the Diamondbacks in which the game was wrapped up then stolen in the way the Yankees had stolen wins for the past five years; but that was just brutal and I had to relive it at some point.

Verducci's metaphors are primarily tied to combat and military existence - anything else comes off only a little less clumsily than Johnny Damon trying to hit the cutoff man when he's playing shallow center. It's not that Verducci's that bad, it's just that he's that not good, which is unbefitting of Yankee Pride.

That, and so far Brian McNamee is quoted just as much as Joe Torre. I'm calling shenanigans.

2) Roger: He is an asshole. He has thrown anyone and everyone under the bus and this book explains some of that behavior, but does not condone it. But for all the shit that has been written about him, and for all the shit he has actually done, this is one thing I didn't need to know. I direct you to a gem from page 132:

There was so much to hink about before even throwing a pitch. Clemens lost himself in his usual pregame preparation, which typically began with cranking the whirlpool to its hottest possible temperature. "He'd come out looking like a lobster," trainer Steve Donahue said. Donahure than [this is a typo from the book, not me] would rub hot liniment all over Clemens' body, "from his ankles to his wrists," Donahue said. Then Donahue would rub the hottest possibl liniment on his testicles. "He'd start snorting like a bull," the trainer said. "That's when he was ready to pitch." (Verducci and Torre, 132)

Marinate on that.

3) So far everything Joe has said has been honest and hasn't really busted anyone's chops. Are there maybe a few too many comments about how some players had trouble handling pressure? Yeah, but at the same time, he's just giving accurate accounts of his Yankee years. So far, I am glad Joe sticks by everything he has said, but am also convinced a lot more of this has to do with Verducci than Torre.

And on that note, I'm going to watch the sun set over the bay, and drink until I can no longer think about a grown man admitting that his job was to rub liniment on Roger Clemens' balls. That's how men celebrate Valentine's Day.